>Feedback on Hawkes’ Submission

>Note: the bold areas are the source of my positive outlook.

Dear Ms. Moore,

We know that you have loved and labored over your manuscript for months, even years. We’re thrilled that, in looking for a home for Hawkes Abandon, you thought of Loose Id. Thank you for trusting us with your creation.

An editor and one member of our management team have reviewed Hawkes Abandon. The combination of romantic suspense and paranormal elements is a good one, and overall your writing is quite good.

Regretfully, we don’t feel your story is right for us at this time. We felt there was a strong implausibility factor in your setup. Ally seemed to respond to Celestra too readily, and the organization Hawkes worked for seemed to underreact to his departure. In addition, Hawkes‘ telepathy leading into the first sex scene seemed to not only undermine the internal conflict between the two characters, but led them into a sexual situation that seemed contrived, particularly with his aggressively Alpha stance and the BDSM elements. It just felt like this happened too soon in their reacquaintance.

However, we hope that you will continue to work on Hawkes Abandon to develop the romantic suspense and paranormal elements and revise the setup. Just because we aren’t interested in acquiring your manuscript right now doesn’t mean we never will be, or that your work lacks merit.

We wish you the very best of luck in finding a home for Hawkes Abandon, and hope you will keep us in mind for future works.

Katriena Knights
Editor, LooseID


1 Comment

Filed under Hawkes Abandon, The Process

One response to “>Feedback on Hawkes’ Submission

  1. >That’s one of the most thoughtful rejection letters I’ve ever read!

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