>First draft = stinking pile of unfun crap
He ended the kiss and touching her face gently with his fingertips he looked down into her eyes, his reflecting something like a question which remained unasked. She did not want to ask any questions, did not want to hear any, for she had no answers. (he ain’t asking and she ain’t wantin’ him to. oye vey)
When she’d unfastened the last button she let her fingers trail over the hardened muscles of his stomach up to his nipples which were pert and pebbled. (pert and pebbled? you gotta be joking.)
Exhibit 3: (and my personal favorite of Worst All Time Stupid First Draft Lines) Want to hear me read this out loud?
The warning sound in his voice did not seem like something he intended to stop her, or even to warn her. It seemed more like something intended to encourage her while letting her know that he knew this was a bad idea, and yet he wanted it to go on. (that is one multipurpose warning sound)
This is why I don’t show my first drafts to anybody! It’s good for a laugh, but really, the first draft is the fun one. The second draft is where I get to fix these…so yeah. Funny, but not that much fun.