“The good of the many outweighs the good of the few.”
Why am I thinking about that this morning? Probably because my computer is trying to die on me (count ’em, 2 blue screens of death in 2 days which can’t be good), and I’m thinking that the good of the few bits still working on this thing need to outweigh the good of the many trying to die.
That’s the kind of stuff my brain works on when I get up early and haven’t had coffee yet.
Meanwhile, my blogging has been intermittant…okay, that’s too kind, it’s been MIA as of late. I’ve been going through many days in a weird fog and still not sure if it’s menopause or depression or what the heck it is. My chemicals are definitely off. In ninth grade, my English teacher (fab dude that he was) always called me “Smiling Debbie”. Nowadays, I have to make myself smile about stuff. The only real smiles come when the kid says something hilarious, usually not intentionally. The rest are as fake as my hair dye.
It’s pitiful, too, because life is really good. Family is well, job is great, writing has taken a really positive turn. I’m healthy–recently even dropped a few pounds and got some exercise–(shocked gasps allowed). I have no excuses. Truthfully, the more I think about it, the more bewildered I am about it.
Been trying to get more sleep. Went to bed at 8:30 last night. Don’t think I’ve done that since the second grade. Of course, I woke up before my alarm went off at 4, but I was going to get up anyway. Waking to the blue screen didn’t help, of course, but the backup appears to be working, so we’ll see. If Deep Cover (my extraterrestrial romance coming out with LooseID in June) does well, maybe I’ll ditch this sucker and get a new laptop.
This weird feeling has been going on for a while and could be a direct result of the crappy economy. I’m not much of a spender, but everybody I know is. And they’ve all taken to hoarding their money. For some reason it makes me think of caves and storm clouds. No idea why.
Oh, and weird. I keep dreaming of eating dog biscuits. No explanation for that at all, although my neighbor says it’s because I’m on a diet. I’ve no desire to eat dog biscuits, and I’m pretty sure they are NOT on the diet, but that’s her theory.
Maybe I’m cracking up. And not in a good way.
Actually, that dog biscuit thing mixed with the caves does kinda makes me laugh. It could be some kind of mania…if you could hear me you might be able to diagnose it for me.