>Zombies rise at 4.

>Remember the theme song to The Sopranos? “Woke up this morning, got myself a gun…”
Yeah, that keeps running through my head. The thing is, I woke up this morning to my kid’s piercing scream echoing down the rugless, drapeless hallway from the other end of the house. I literally leapt out of bed and raced through the total darkness, tripped over the cat, and smashed my left shoulder into the kitchen wall. Actually had enough presence of mind to be glad it wasn’t my skull. Stumbled back up, and kept moving while holding my shoulder which now had a discernable dent in it. Opened her bedroom door and put on my calm, quiet, Mommy voice: “What’s wrong?”
“I had a bad dream.”
I glance around still rubbing my shoulder as if this can’t be the reason and there’s actually a psychopath hidden among the stuffed animals. I’m so pissed and scared I’ll go toe-to-toe with my bare hands when he comes out of hiding. “About what?”
She whispers. “Zombies.”
She’s whispering because no matter how many times I tell her she shouldn’t watch zombie movies, that they aren’t real anyway, that she’s too young to … blah blah… she ignores me. And she ends up getting scared and having nightmares. “Scoot over.” I’m still rubbing my shoulder as I climb into the bed beside her and cover us both with the blankets.
I ruminate that it would serve me right if I’d hit my head–might have helped even. I’d caved this weekend and let her watch Zombieland (which we both found absolutely hilarious). When it was over, we agreed it was all fake and although the language was not great for a kid, she understood that those were words she knew but couldn’t use…blah blah. Insert “Typical Mom speech” here.
And now, it’s 4 a.m. and I’m wide awake. It’s not even Monday, but it sure feels like one. Next time, I aim for the wall.
Oh, and the cat is perfectly fine.



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2 responses to “>Zombies rise at 4.

  1. >Tell her zombies wig me out too. TOTALLY. WIG. ME. OUT. People think it's funny, but the day of the zombie apocalypse, I'll have the last laugh. I'm prepared you see…Wait. What were we talking about?Oh yeah. Zombies are the devil.

  2. >It's 10 days later, and the bruise is only now starting to fade. Still bright purple in some spots, green and yellow in others. NOT pretty. LOL

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